I was up late a little while ago and I ended up watching an episode of Jonny Knoxville’s show “Jackass”. He goes a bit far sometimes that’s true, but I must admit I did laugh very hard. I grew up with four brothers who were all a bit crazy and I found myself reminiscing about some of the stupid, unsupervised things that we did growing up. Things that just wouldn’t happen these days. I was happy to push myself back then and go out of my psychical and mental comfort zone. I rode mad horses, jumped off cliffs and bridges, sat on the handlebars of bikes (whilst going down steep driveways), I tried to skate, I climbed up the highest trees (and up on the roofs of buildings whenever I could) and I always told people what I thought (even if it meant another trip to the principals office for corporal punishment). If there was an adventure to be had, I was in.
I had the realisation that night, how safe and routine my life has become now that I am a grown up. My actions for so long now dictated by the needs of others (namely children). Staying safe is the name of the game. It is all very lovely, but it can be a bit tedious and boring. So, this line of thought has been sitting with me and I have been unsure of the usefulness of entertaining it at all. As there is not much I can or want to change about my current situation, which is a kind of domestic bliss, ra ra ra (no desire to roll in a pit of snakes anytime soon).
Then it occurred to me, the other thing I have been being “safe” about is my art, my creativity. The one place I have to escape restraint. Boom. The one place I am free. I sadly see where commercial concerns have crept in, where strategy may have trumped spontaneity. I have gotten a bit too controlled and mechanical about it all. A bit stale maybe?
So there you go… thank you Mr Knoxville for very subtley revealing this to me.
And then of course, with any new revelation, comes the time to put it to the test, I didn’t have to wait long. I have been asked to take part in a “paint off” in the Fletcher Jones Gardens in Warnambool this sunday (December 14). I have two hours to paint a two metre by one metre canvas. Out of my comfort zone? Yes! Am I excited? Very. The undertaking will be a success or a failure, or somewhere in between. But, I am looking forward to it, (hoping baby Oscar and the weather cooperates!). Wish me luck as I throw out my usual constraints and challenge myself with an audience and a limited time frame!
There you go, musings done!
What do you need to do to awaken yourself again?